Read the whole thing here.I'm not surprised that a group of secular social workers believe racial identity is more important than familial love. The Scripture tells us we always, if left to ourselves, want to categorize ourselves "according to the flesh." Whether it is the Athenians clinging to their myth of superior origins or Judaizers insisting on circumcision or Peter refusing to eat with pig-devouring Gentiles, we love to see ourselves first and foremost in fleshly categories -- because it keeps us from seeing ourselves in Christ.
The gospel, though, drives us away from our identity in the flesh, and toward a new identity, indeed a new family, defined by the Spirit. This new family solidarity is much less visibly obvious; it's not based on marks in the flesh or skin color or carefully kept genealogies. It's based on a Spirit that blows invisibly where he wills, showing up in less visible characteristics such as peace, joy, love, righteousness, gentleness, kindness, self-control.That's why my heart is broken about the transracial adoption debate. It's not just because some white kids could miss out on some godly black parents, or vice-versa. It's because we're, in part, to blame.
The family, after all, is constructed around another, deeper reality. It points to the church -- that household of God in which Jesus is the firstborn among many brothers. I wonder what kind of witness we could have in this kind of racially polarized culture if our churches demonstrated the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace?
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Transracial adoption and the Christian family
My blogger friend at Two Square Meals pointed me to this fantastic article on adoption from Touchstone Magazine's blog. Here's a little snippet:
Friday, May 30, 2008
Need All Wheel Drive? This guy's got an idea for you!
A little humor for your Friday. Be sure to share with hubby - he'll love it.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I need your help
We are trying to save money for the adoption of our daughter from Armenia. In an effort to do that, we are pulling 'ye old' belt a little tighter. Our family keeps a pretty slim budget already, but it needs to get slimmer.
If you are a frugal family, would you mind sharing with me your favorite resources for getting money-saving ideas? Blogs, websites, books, newsletter, etc. Thank you!!!
If you are a frugal family, would you mind sharing with me your favorite resources for getting money-saving ideas? Blogs, websites, books, newsletter, etc. Thank you!!!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Teaching kids about Anglicanism
I had an email from a nice lady this weekend asking about a curriculum for Anglican homeschoolers, specifically a curriculum to teach about our faith. Well, unfortunately, other than Sunday School curricula (which aren't a bad solution), there really isn't anything like that geared toward home education. However, there are some good books which you could use to create your own curriculum.
Here are some I use:
One of my favorite resources. This is based on the Book of Common Prayer, but set up for family usage. Gives some good guidance for parents and nice prayers for children.
Another great resource by Anne E Kitch. This is a nice activity and coloring book. It covers Sunday Worship, the Church Year, People and Worship, We Worship with Our Senses. You'll want one for each child as these are consumable.
This is a nice picture book with a double-page spread for each season of the Church Year and special celebration days.
By the same author as above (and with the same cute mouse characters), this walks kids through the church service with explanations in simple language for all portions of the service.
This book takes the Rite II Holy Eucharist from the Book of Common Prayer (each style, too - Prayer A, B, C, and D) and pairs it with thorough, but easy to understand explanations. This book goes a little deeper than the one above and is from an Anglican (the previous one is Presbyterian) author. I really like this little book.
Here's a real gem! This book teaches spiritual truths to go along with the Church Year. Each week in the Church Year a new Christian symbol is presented and paired with an object lesson. The lesson also includes a teaching objective, suggested bible texts, verse to learn, children's message, prayer, suggested music, and an activity. At the beginning of each Season, a nice discussion of the season is given including: seasonal colors, themes, explanation of the season. The book also comes with a CD-ROM that has the symbol images for you to print out.
I think you could easily take these books and lay out a curriculum for your kids covering: Creeds and Prayers, Seasons, Christian Symbolism, Basic Doctrine and the Church Service. You might want to add in important Christians (Church Fathers, Saints, etc). Those would be easy to incorporate on their remembrance days.
What books do you use with your kids? What other things would you cover in an Anglican curriculum?
This post is part of the weekly Carnival of Homeschooling currently hosted by Jacque at "Walking Therein". Want to learn more about the carnival? See my sidebar for the link.
Here are some I use:
One of my favorite resources. This is based on the Book of Common Prayer, but set up for family usage. Gives some good guidance for parents and nice prayers for children.
Another great resource by Anne E Kitch. This is a nice activity and coloring book. It covers Sunday Worship, the Church Year, People and Worship, We Worship with Our Senses. You'll want one for each child as these are consumable.
This is a nice picture book with a double-page spread for each season of the Church Year and special celebration days.
By the same author as above (and with the same cute mouse characters), this walks kids through the church service with explanations in simple language for all portions of the service.
This book takes the Rite II Holy Eucharist from the Book of Common Prayer (each style, too - Prayer A, B, C, and D) and pairs it with thorough, but easy to understand explanations. This book goes a little deeper than the one above and is from an Anglican (the previous one is Presbyterian) author. I really like this little book.
Here's a real gem! This book teaches spiritual truths to go along with the Church Year. Each week in the Church Year a new Christian symbol is presented and paired with an object lesson. The lesson also includes a teaching objective, suggested bible texts, verse to learn, children's message, prayer, suggested music, and an activity. At the beginning of each Season, a nice discussion of the season is given including: seasonal colors, themes, explanation of the season. The book also comes with a CD-ROM that has the symbol images for you to print out.
I think you could easily take these books and lay out a curriculum for your kids covering: Creeds and Prayers, Seasons, Christian Symbolism, Basic Doctrine and the Church Service. You might want to add in important Christians (Church Fathers, Saints, etc). Those would be easy to incorporate on their remembrance days.
What books do you use with your kids? What other things would you cover in an Anglican curriculum?
This post is part of the weekly Carnival of Homeschooling currently hosted by Jacque at "Walking Therein". Want to learn more about the carnival? See my sidebar for the link.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Adoption Language - what and why?
The words we use convey to others many ideas - some intended and some not. In discussing adoption with our children, friends, and families, it is important to think about the words we use. Some words convey a sense of otherness to adopted children, while other words change can convey inclusion and acceptance. Of course, you want to use language that supports the adoptive family. And really, using the right vocabulary, can acutally change people's impressions about adoption!
Here's a quick tutorial of common adoption language:
Use BIRTH OR BIOLOGICAL parent instead of REAL OR NATURAL parent. Parents who have adopted their children are just as real and natural as those who have give birth.
Use BIRTH OR BIOLOGICAL child instead of REAL OR OWN child. Children are their parents' own whether part of the family by birth or adoption.
Use WAS adopted rather than IS adopted. Once a child has been adopted into a family, it is over and done with.
You can read further about adoption language here and here, if you are interested in learning more.
Here's a quick tutorial of common adoption language:
Use BIRTH OR BIOLOGICAL parent instead of REAL OR NATURAL parent. Parents who have adopted their children are just as real and natural as those who have give birth.
Use BIRTH OR BIOLOGICAL child instead of REAL OR OWN child. Children are their parents' own whether part of the family by birth or adoption.
Use WAS adopted rather than IS adopted. Once a child has been adopted into a family, it is over and done with.
You can read further about adoption language here and here, if you are interested in learning more.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Seasonal cooking: Spring - Bok Choy
My local produce co-op is getting in gobs of bok choy! I picked up about 4 heads of it this weekend with NO IDEA what to do with it. After a quick internet search I found a few interesting recipes.
Tonight we had Bok Choy and Chicken Stir-Fry. It was REALLY good, so give this a try if you like chinese stirf-ry. Also, it was a breeze to fix (and QUICK).
Bok Choy and Chicken Stir-Fry
1 lg bok choy
1 1/2 lbs chicken tenderloins
3 -8 garlic cloves, minced (depending on your taste) - I didn't have any so, I used garlic powder
1/4 c dry cooking sherry
1/4 c soy sauce
2-3 T oil (I used sesame oil) (just enough to coat the bottom of the pan)
Wash bok choy very well. Slice across leaf at about 1/2 inch intervals. Discard the bottom when you get to the part with no green on it. (You could save that part for stock veggies.) Chop the chicken into 1/2 to 1 inch chunks. Heat oil in pan (wok or large fry pan with high sides) over medium heat. When oil is hot, add garlic. Saute for a few seconds, then add chicken. Saute until slightly browned all over (no pink showing on the outside.) Add bok choy and stir-fry just until wilted. Add soy sauce and sherry. Cover and cook until chicken is done. Serve over steamed white rice.
Here are some more recipes I plan to try this week with the rest of my Bok Choy:
Broccoli & Bok Choy Salad
2 pkgs ramen noddles (chicken-flavor), crushed
1 head broccoli, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 head bok choy, cut into bite-sized pieces
4 green onions, chopped
1 C sunflower seeds (shelled)
1/2 C red wine vinegar
1/2 C olive oil
1/2 C granulated white sugar
1 T soy sauce
In a large salad bowl, combine broccoli, bok choy, crushed noodles, and green onions. In seperate bowl, whisk together sugar, oil, vinegar, soy sauce and chicken soup seasoning mixes. Pour dressing over salad and toss to evenly coat. Sprinkle sunflower seeds on top. Toss salad to mix thoroughly. Refrigerate 30 minutes to 1 hour before serving.
Sesame Salmon Fillets and Bok Choy
1 c sesame seeds
1 T ginger root, grated
1 T cracked black peppercorns
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1 1/2 lbs of filleted salmon
1 T vegetable oil
4 C thinly sliced bok choy
1/2 sweet red pepper, diced
1 tsp rice vinegar
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp sesame oil
In a shallow dish, combine sesame seeds, grated ginger, peppercorns, and salt. In another dish, lightly beat egg. Dip each salmon fillet into egg, letting excess drip off. Gently press into sesame mixture, turning to coat. In large nonstick skillet, heat vegetable oil over medium high heat; cook salmon, turning once, for 4-8 minutes until golden. Transfer to plate. Wipe out skillet. Add bok choy, red pepper, vinegar, soy sauce, and sesame oil to pan; cook, stirring often, for about 3 minutes or until bok choy is wilted. Arrange salmon over bok choy; cover and cook for 3- 4 minutes or util fish flakes easily when tested with fork.
I'll probably get more bok choy in my next batch of produce, so any other recipes or uses you might recommend?
Tonight we had Bok Choy and Chicken Stir-Fry. It was REALLY good, so give this a try if you like chinese stirf-ry. Also, it was a breeze to fix (and QUICK).
Bok Choy and Chicken Stir-Fry
1 lg bok choy
1 1/2 lbs chicken tenderloins
3 -8 garlic cloves, minced (depending on your taste) - I didn't have any so, I used garlic powder
1/4 c dry cooking sherry
1/4 c soy sauce
2-3 T oil (I used sesame oil) (just enough to coat the bottom of the pan)
Wash bok choy very well. Slice across leaf at about 1/2 inch intervals. Discard the bottom when you get to the part with no green on it. (You could save that part for stock veggies.) Chop the chicken into 1/2 to 1 inch chunks. Heat oil in pan (wok or large fry pan with high sides) over medium heat. When oil is hot, add garlic. Saute for a few seconds, then add chicken. Saute until slightly browned all over (no pink showing on the outside.) Add bok choy and stir-fry just until wilted. Add soy sauce and sherry. Cover and cook until chicken is done. Serve over steamed white rice.
Here are some more recipes I plan to try this week with the rest of my Bok Choy:
Broccoli & Bok Choy Salad
2 pkgs ramen noddles (chicken-flavor), crushed
1 head broccoli, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 head bok choy, cut into bite-sized pieces
4 green onions, chopped
1 C sunflower seeds (shelled)
1/2 C red wine vinegar
1/2 C olive oil
1/2 C granulated white sugar
1 T soy sauce
In a large salad bowl, combine broccoli, bok choy, crushed noodles, and green onions. In seperate bowl, whisk together sugar, oil, vinegar, soy sauce and chicken soup seasoning mixes. Pour dressing over salad and toss to evenly coat. Sprinkle sunflower seeds on top. Toss salad to mix thoroughly. Refrigerate 30 minutes to 1 hour before serving.
Sesame Salmon Fillets and Bok Choy
1 c sesame seeds
1 T ginger root, grated
1 T cracked black peppercorns
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1 1/2 lbs of filleted salmon
1 T vegetable oil
4 C thinly sliced bok choy
1/2 sweet red pepper, diced
1 tsp rice vinegar
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp sesame oil
In a shallow dish, combine sesame seeds, grated ginger, peppercorns, and salt. In another dish, lightly beat egg. Dip each salmon fillet into egg, letting excess drip off. Gently press into sesame mixture, turning to coat. In large nonstick skillet, heat vegetable oil over medium high heat; cook salmon, turning once, for 4-8 minutes until golden. Transfer to plate. Wipe out skillet. Add bok choy, red pepper, vinegar, soy sauce, and sesame oil to pan; cook, stirring often, for about 3 minutes or until bok choy is wilted. Arrange salmon over bok choy; cover and cook for 3- 4 minutes or util fish flakes easily when tested with fork.
I'll probably get more bok choy in my next batch of produce, so any other recipes or uses you might recommend?
Art Resource: Inspiring Impressionism
Left: Mrs. Duffee Seated on a Striped Sofa, Reading, 1876, Mary Cassatt. Right: A Young Girl Reading, about 1776, Jean-Honoré Fragonard.
The Denver Art Museum has recently extended the hours during the last two weeks of a popular exhibit, "Inspiring Impressionism". This exhibit examines how the Impressionist artists were inspired and influenced by the "Old Masters" of previous generations:
Even the most revolutionary artistic movements are grounded in older traditions. Although the Impressionists’ work seemed a daring rejection of what came before, they did find inspiration in artists from the Renaissance to the eighteenth century. Some revered those Old Masters, some rejected the traditions of the past, and others took their lessons and re-invented them to reflect modern life.
Not near Denver? Me neither, but I was excited to see that they have:
- a small online exhibit of some of these works compared with their old master inspiration!
- a huge teacher resource list (websites: general info, artist bio, lesson ideas; videos and books).
- an interactive timeline.
Are you near Denver? You can still get tickets to the show, aren't you lucky! If you go, come back and tell me how it was. (If you do live there, you might be interested in checking out the "Learn and Play" link! They have some great tours offered for teachers and families.)
Enjoy!
This post is part of the Carnival of Homeschooling at Po Moyemu-In My Opinion - check it out!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
WFMW: Kids Visual Schedule
On Monday, I blogged about getting a summer routine in place. One of the ideas I came across was a "visual schedule". These schedules are often recommended for kids who have Autism, but I think they work well for any family with young kids (and not so young).
Well, I went ahead and made one for our family and it worked really well!
Here's a picture:
Well, I went ahead and made one for our family and it worked really well!
Here's a picture:
And one up close:
And here it is in use:
I found the images in Microsoft's clip art and dropped them into a Word document. I just printed and folded the pages in half. Finally, I taped them all together and up in a central location (our kitchen pantry door - we are in the kitchen ALL DAY).
You'll notice the orange stickies - these I added to highlight extra events for today only (Ballet and a meeting I had). I also decided to cover each image with a yellow stickie as we passed that event, so that we could easily see where we were in the day. I'll reuse those stickies until they loose their stick.
I could have done this much fancier and "smarter", but I just wanted to get on with using it. If it continues to work so well, I'll make a bit more permanent one (laminated and maybe with some other way to mark our place in the day).
A Visual Schedule - it works for me!
Check out the other "Works For Me Wednesday" tips at Rocks in My Dryer.
You'll notice the orange stickies - these I added to highlight extra events for today only (Ballet and a meeting I had). I also decided to cover each image with a yellow stickie as we passed that event, so that we could easily see where we were in the day. I'll reuse those stickies until they loose their stick.
I could have done this much fancier and "smarter", but I just wanted to get on with using it. If it continues to work so well, I'll make a bit more permanent one (laminated and maybe with some other way to mark our place in the day).
A Visual Schedule - it works for me!
Check out the other "Works For Me Wednesday" tips at Rocks in My Dryer.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
5-steps for establishing a summer routine
Summer is just around the corner. We've had spring fever BAD and have gotten way off our routine. So, I'm kind of starting fresh with a summer routine. Here are my ideas...
1) Decide on the big rocks of our daily life. Plan for these and let them be the "anchors" of our day.
Some examples are: regular meal times, planned snack time, chore time, learning time, play time, read or rest time. Pay attention to the flow of these various "anchors". Try to plan for good variety of structured vs. unstructured and active vs. passive.
Anything I'm missing here? What would you add/drop?
2) Provide some visual cues for the expected flow of our day.
If your kids are pre-readers or highly visual (verses verbal), make a picture chart. Find or draw simple pictures of each of the daily "anchors". These also help with #4 - transitions.
Help for Kids' Speech offers suggestions for visual ways to cue children in to expectations for the daily routine. The article mentions the website Do2Learn which offers various picture cards that can be accessed for free. There are loads of other resources in their subscriber areas, too.
Another idea comes from Family Fun: a doorknob daily reminder. You could use this to remind kids of special events or "themes" for each day. (Park Day, Errand Day, Class Day, etc.)
Any ideas for other wasy to use visual cues? Do you have a resource I might try?
3) Set distinct moods or tones for certain types of activities or times of day.
Quick moodsetters are music and light - moodsetting will also help with #4 - transitions. For example, if you want to get your kids up and going (maybe for chore time or because you are going out for a playdate) make sure the house is bright and try turning on some cheerful or exciting music. In the evening when it is time to wind down, lower the lights in the house and turn on some quieter music.
Another important aspect of moodsetting is tone of voice. Pay attention to the tone you set, too. I read somewhere that parentss should be the thermostat not the thermometer of their home (a thermostat sets the temperature; a thermometer just reacts to it).
Collect some CDs that are particularly energetic or quiet or whatever you need and keep those handy. Or do the 80's thing and make a mix-tape! :) "Mom's Quiet Down Music" or "Mom's Get Up and MOVE Music".
Got some favorite CDs or songs for certain times of day?
4) Work on establishing good transition habits.
Some kids are very easy transitioners and other kids need a lot of help in this area. I have one of each and one inbetween. Here are some quick ideas:
1) Decide on the big rocks of our daily life. Plan for these and let them be the "anchors" of our day.
Some examples are: regular meal times, planned snack time, chore time, learning time, play time, read or rest time. Pay attention to the flow of these various "anchors". Try to plan for good variety of structured vs. unstructured and active vs. passive.
Anything I'm missing here? What would you add/drop?
2) Provide some visual cues for the expected flow of our day.
If your kids are pre-readers or highly visual (verses verbal), make a picture chart. Find or draw simple pictures of each of the daily "anchors". These also help with #4 - transitions.
Help for Kids' Speech offers suggestions for visual ways to cue children in to expectations for the daily routine. The article mentions the website Do2Learn which offers various picture cards that can be accessed for free. There are loads of other resources in their subscriber areas, too.
Another idea comes from Family Fun: a doorknob daily reminder. You could use this to remind kids of special events or "themes" for each day. (Park Day, Errand Day, Class Day, etc.)
Any ideas for other wasy to use visual cues? Do you have a resource I might try?
3) Set distinct moods or tones for certain types of activities or times of day.
Quick moodsetters are music and light - moodsetting will also help with #4 - transitions. For example, if you want to get your kids up and going (maybe for chore time or because you are going out for a playdate) make sure the house is bright and try turning on some cheerful or exciting music. In the evening when it is time to wind down, lower the lights in the house and turn on some quieter music.
Another important aspect of moodsetting is tone of voice. Pay attention to the tone you set, too. I read somewhere that parentss should be the thermostat not the thermometer of their home (a thermostat sets the temperature; a thermometer just reacts to it).
Collect some CDs that are particularly energetic or quiet or whatever you need and keep those handy. Or do the 80's thing and make a mix-tape! :) "Mom's Quiet Down Music" or "Mom's Get Up and MOVE Music".
Got some favorite CDs or songs for certain times of day?
4) Work on establishing good transition habits.
Some kids are very easy transitioners and other kids need a lot of help in this area. I have one of each and one inbetween. Here are some quick ideas:
- Five Minute "Heads Up" - particularly useful when ending a fun, unstructured activity
- Assessment and Feedback- After chore time is an excellent time to gather the kids and assess how well they did or to "go see" their work. In fact, a "go see" to point out what might have been overlooked followed up with some "good job" kudos is probably a good idea. If you use a chore system or reward chart, this might be the time to incorporate that.
- What's Next? - Encourage the kids to complete what they are doing by telling them what is coming up next. "When you finish cleaning up the breakfast dishes, we are going to walk to the park." or "After lunch it will be time for Read or Rest."
- Until tomorrow - Sometimes kids are satisfied to transition to a new activity when they know the one they are currently being asked to stop is one they will get to do again another day. "We'll come back to the park next week." or "You'll get to do playdough again tomorrow."
- Consolidate- consolidate activities to reduce the number or transitions. (But don't go so far as to spend hours doing the same thing - like chores!) An example might be cleaning up from breakfast and moving right into chore time instead of letting them have playtime after breakfast and chore time later in the morning.
What are some ways you help your kids transition to the next activity?
5) Make it a team effort.
Sit down together and go over the daily routine and your expectations. Talk about the fun stuff you all want to have time for this summer and how your daily routine is going to help you have time for the fun stuff.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Are Adoptive Moms "Non-Moms"?
I can't leave this one alone! I've updated and added a screeen shot of the original contest website at the bottom.
Apparently NBC's Today Show and Teleflora think so.
In their co-sponsored contest to find "America's Favorite Mom" one of their categories is "Non-Mom Moms". According to the contest website this category includes:
I understand that the intention is to highlight moms who've stepped out and parented children that are not their biological children...but for the adoptive Mom, her bio and adopted children are ALL her OWN. The adoptive mom is no different than a "regular" mom and should not be put into a seperate category. Or are these kids "Non-Kids" in "Non-Families"?
Want to voice your opinion? Here ya go:
support@americasfavoritemom.com
legalinfo@americasfavoritemom.com
Marie Osmond contact - kesti@marieosmond.com
Teleflora press contact - fposell@teleflora.com
Today show contact: today@msnbc.com
Updated: *** WOW*** - they must have heard that cry loud and clear. They have since changed the wording to say "The Adopting Mom". Still not sure that adoptive moms should be seperated from "regular" moms, but that is better than "Non Moms".
What was all the fuss about? The contest website has been changed to soften the category name a bit and to change some really offensive lingo ("own child" vs. adopted children and "meth babies"), which is great. But I'm still quite hot under the collar about it all. You have to see the original website to fully understand the outcry. I found a screenshot:
Click on the image to enlarge. Notice the lingo about children "owing their lives" and "own children" and "meth babies".
I'm thankful they've responded so quickly to the situation, but is it enough? Do we let bygones be bygones? I hope someone with a large public voice will take the opportunity to use this gaffe for public education about adoption language. Angelina? Madonna? Nichole? Laura?
Apparently NBC's Today Show and Teleflora think so.
In their co-sponsored contest to find "America's Favorite Mom" one of their categories is "Non-Mom Moms". According to the contest website this category includes:
Grandparent, stepmom, or mom to adopted children, each one raising and loving a child. A priceless gift for everybody
I understand that the intention is to highlight moms who've stepped out and parented children that are not their biological children...but for the adoptive Mom, her bio and adopted children are ALL her OWN. The adoptive mom is no different than a "regular" mom and should not be put into a seperate category. Or are these kids "Non-Kids" in "Non-Families"?
Want to voice your opinion? Here ya go:
support@americasfavoritemom.com
legalinfo@americasfavoritemom.com
Marie Osmond contact - kesti@marieosmond.com
Teleflora press contact - fposell@teleflora.com
Today show contact: today@msnbc.com
Updated: *** WOW*** - they must have heard that cry loud and clear. They have since changed the wording to say "The Adopting Mom". Still not sure that adoptive moms should be seperated from "regular" moms, but that is better than "Non Moms".
What was all the fuss about? The contest website has been changed to soften the category name a bit and to change some really offensive lingo ("own child" vs. adopted children and "meth babies"), which is great. But I'm still quite hot under the collar about it all. You have to see the original website to fully understand the outcry. I found a screenshot:
Click on the image to enlarge. Notice the lingo about children "owing their lives" and "own children" and "meth babies".
I'm thankful they've responded so quickly to the situation, but is it enough? Do we let bygones be bygones? I hope someone with a large public voice will take the opportunity to use this gaffe for public education about adoption language. Angelina? Madonna? Nichole? Laura?
Opportunity costs
I officially moved out of my corporate office this week. Well, cube is more accurate – after 19 years in my current profession, I’ve never had a workspace with a door. It was a strange sensation, this move, because my primary office will be at home now. While I have worked a couple days a week from home for the last couple of years, there is a different level of commitment, a decisiveness, associated with this action. Oddly, it felt like forsaking all other potential mates when I knew that Kerry was “the one” for me fairly early in our dating relationship. There was a sense of leaving something behind, thinking I might miss something, but knowing, nonetheless, the chosen path was far superior.
You may be asking yourself, “So how does this relate to adoption?” The parallel may not be immediately evident. After the birth of our first child, we officially became a family, instead of a couple. This was something for which we yearned and happily embraced. Adjustments, some anticipated, and some not, were required. No longer could we stay up until 2 a.m. and expect to sleep late, uninterrupted, to recover! Spontaneity became much rarer. Romantic midnight walks were replaced by midnight walks around the house to comfort a needy baby.
Each new child brought new adjustments. But more than that, with each child, we became a different family entirely. This may be something you know intuitively, without ever thinking about it. The family child #2 knew became different when child #3 came along. The individuals in the family, the dynamics of the family, the “operation” of the family, etc, became different as the family grew.
Having waited and yearned for a fourth child for almost 4 years, one would assume we would be fully prepared for #4. However, I think it’s a very healthy and necessary step, consciously and deliberately, to surrender that which is familiar and comfortable (in this case, the present familial environment), and potential opportunities (things available via the status quo) when making important decisions. In economic/financial terms, we must weigh the “opportunity costs” (what we sacrifice) when we choose one thing over another. Just as I decided to forsake my familiar office environment when I chose to work from home, choosing to adopt a child means sacrificing the family environment we know and enjoy now. Each family member should do this in their own way and time.
Slowly, I am beginning to understand what child #4, and particularly the special needs of an adopted child, will mean to parents and children alike. I already know some of the blessings that will come, but only time will tell the ultimate impact this individual, whom the Lord has chosen for our family, will have on us. I’m ready to embrace this change, to give up the familiar and other opportunities, because I know this is what the Lord wants for us. I am filled with joyful expectation, and a sense of wonder of being a part of His larger plan, as we wait to welcome the newest member of our family, and all the delights and challenges this encompasses.
And, by the way, now I finally have an office…with a door.
You may be asking yourself, “So how does this relate to adoption?” The parallel may not be immediately evident. After the birth of our first child, we officially became a family, instead of a couple. This was something for which we yearned and happily embraced. Adjustments, some anticipated, and some not, were required. No longer could we stay up until 2 a.m. and expect to sleep late, uninterrupted, to recover! Spontaneity became much rarer. Romantic midnight walks were replaced by midnight walks around the house to comfort a needy baby.
Each new child brought new adjustments. But more than that, with each child, we became a different family entirely. This may be something you know intuitively, without ever thinking about it. The family child #2 knew became different when child #3 came along. The individuals in the family, the dynamics of the family, the “operation” of the family, etc, became different as the family grew.
Having waited and yearned for a fourth child for almost 4 years, one would assume we would be fully prepared for #4. However, I think it’s a very healthy and necessary step, consciously and deliberately, to surrender that which is familiar and comfortable (in this case, the present familial environment), and potential opportunities (things available via the status quo) when making important decisions. In economic/financial terms, we must weigh the “opportunity costs” (what we sacrifice) when we choose one thing over another. Just as I decided to forsake my familiar office environment when I chose to work from home, choosing to adopt a child means sacrificing the family environment we know and enjoy now. Each family member should do this in their own way and time.
Slowly, I am beginning to understand what child #4, and particularly the special needs of an adopted child, will mean to parents and children alike. I already know some of the blessings that will come, but only time will tell the ultimate impact this individual, whom the Lord has chosen for our family, will have on us. I’m ready to embrace this change, to give up the familiar and other opportunities, because I know this is what the Lord wants for us. I am filled with joyful expectation, and a sense of wonder of being a part of His larger plan, as we wait to welcome the newest member of our family, and all the delights and challenges this encompasses.
And, by the way, now I finally have an office…with a door.
Come Holy Spirit!
From a quilt by Linda Schmidt.Today is not only Mother's Day, it is Pentecost!
Yesterday, a friend of mine (who doesn't go to a liturgical church) asked me, "What is Pentecost?" She'd never heard of it. Wow, never heard of the day of Pentecost? When the Church was given the gift of the Holy Spirit? (Another reason I enjoy the liturgical church - celebrating the Church Year, not just the secular year.)
Well, I've not had my brain together enough to plan a Pentecost celebration for our family, but I'm going to try to pull a few things together today:
- I have put out red candles and taken down my Easter banners and decorations. (Yes, we left them up for ALL of Easter season.)
- I'll wear red today (representing the "tongues of fire").
- I'll read the "Pentecost" page from Come Worship With Me: A Journey Through the Church Year (Mouse Books)
Want to celebrate Pentecost with your kids? Here are some links:
A great website with resources for all the liturgical seasons and some secular ones, too.
Some kid-friendly history about Pentecost and a few good craft ideas.
Celebrate the Church's Birthday!
And for you:
A ton of theological resources.
A Mother's Day Card for my fellow moms
Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds.
Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows,
brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends -
but only one mother in the whole world.
~Kate Douglas Wiggin
Saturday, May 10, 2008
The Bastard of Istanbul - book review
Last weekend I finished reading The Bastard of Istanbul
by Elif Shafak. I'm no literary critic, so I'll just share with you my impressions.
This book starts right off with a bang. One of the central figures is in a situation where she must make a life-altering decision. (From the title, perhaps you can guess - but I'm not giving it away!) The rest of the plot flows on from here - like a river flowing from a spring. Other turning points occur along the way, but they are much more subtle until the very end of the book. These two major events (one at the beginning and one at the end) become as book ends to the tale. In between those two bookends, the author draws us into two seperate but connected families: the Kazancis and the Tchakhmakhchians, one Turkish and one Armenian-American (from the Diaspora).
The main characters are the two youngest members of these families, both daughters. They meet when the Armenian-American daughter travels to visit her Turkish stepfamily in Istanbul. While very different, these two young women come to understand each other and provide a glimpse of an unrealized dream: peaceful relations between Turks and Armenians.
Toward the end of the book, I felt the need for some confrontation that might lead to a final resolution to either destroy or cement the relationship between the Turkish and Armenian family. While this didn't happen, the two daughters did demonstrate how future generations might come to live with each other through shared trials and triumphs and the realization that they share more than they might realize.
I recommend this book for anyone who is just learning about the Turkish-Armenian conflict. It certainly doesn't go deep enough, but helps one begin to have an understanding of the their entwined history.
The author has a gift for descriptions of her character's psychological and emotional states. She also has a gift for all sorts of other descriptions - especially interior spaces and the mouth-watering food! The cultures are fascinating and the characters interesting. You will see, feel, hear, smell, taste as you read this book.
Some books I can't put down because the author's writing leaves me feeling unsettled until I've finished the whole book...but this book I could read a chapter at a time and feel I'd had a good read. Each chapter was like a delightful meal leaving me not too full (that I didn't want more), but not needing to consume more to feel satisfied. My mind was intrigued and my senses delighted.
A couple warnings: 1) there is one character who successfully talks with an evil and good "jinn" to discern secret events and 2) one of the themes discussed in the book is incest (which I found unnecessary - while it did provide the ending "book end", I wish the author had found a different way to wrap up this story).
If you've read the book, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
You can find more book reviews at Semicolon's Saturday Review of Books.
by Elif Shafak. I'm no literary critic, so I'll just share with you my impressions.This book starts right off with a bang. One of the central figures is in a situation where she must make a life-altering decision. (From the title, perhaps you can guess - but I'm not giving it away!) The rest of the plot flows on from here - like a river flowing from a spring. Other turning points occur along the way, but they are much more subtle until the very end of the book. These two major events (one at the beginning and one at the end) become as book ends to the tale. In between those two bookends, the author draws us into two seperate but connected families: the Kazancis and the Tchakhmakhchians, one Turkish and one Armenian-American (from the Diaspora).
The main characters are the two youngest members of these families, both daughters. They meet when the Armenian-American daughter travels to visit her Turkish stepfamily in Istanbul. While very different, these two young women come to understand each other and provide a glimpse of an unrealized dream: peaceful relations between Turks and Armenians.
Toward the end of the book, I felt the need for some confrontation that might lead to a final resolution to either destroy or cement the relationship between the Turkish and Armenian family. While this didn't happen, the two daughters did demonstrate how future generations might come to live with each other through shared trials and triumphs and the realization that they share more than they might realize.
I recommend this book for anyone who is just learning about the Turkish-Armenian conflict. It certainly doesn't go deep enough, but helps one begin to have an understanding of the their entwined history.
The author has a gift for descriptions of her character's psychological and emotional states. She also has a gift for all sorts of other descriptions - especially interior spaces and the mouth-watering food! The cultures are fascinating and the characters interesting. You will see, feel, hear, smell, taste as you read this book.
Some books I can't put down because the author's writing leaves me feeling unsettled until I've finished the whole book...but this book I could read a chapter at a time and feel I'd had a good read. Each chapter was like a delightful meal leaving me not too full (that I didn't want more), but not needing to consume more to feel satisfied. My mind was intrigued and my senses delighted.
A couple warnings: 1) there is one character who successfully talks with an evil and good "jinn" to discern secret events and 2) one of the themes discussed in the book is incest (which I found unnecessary - while it did provide the ending "book end", I wish the author had found a different way to wrap up this story).
If you've read the book, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
You can find more book reviews at Semicolon's Saturday Review of Books.
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