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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Initial thoughts from DH

Last Friday, I asked my men's group to pray for this adoption process. Sometimes, those prayers work quickly!

I have been overwhelmed at times in my life by the love God showers upon us. I remember, about a month after our first child was born, on my homeward commute, coming to the full realization of my own mortality, the magnitude of my (new) responsibility, and the depth of a parent's love. Growing up, I knew my parent's loved me - I took it for granted. I didn't realized they LOVED me - to the point that they would sacrifice almost anything.

Shortly thereafter, while I was watching my son sleep peacefully in his crib, I realized just how shallow and insignificant the depth of my love for my child was in comparison to the love of our Father in heaven. That just about made me a puddle.

As my lovely and talented wife mentioned in her first post, we have been longing for another child for a significant amount of time. I had not equated the amount of time to the biblically significant number of 40 (months.) For me, I felt God's presence in October of 2004, as I was listening to a song a dear friend of ours wrote about the blessing of children. I was faced with the tremendous gift we had been given in the ability to have children, and had so inconsiderately and irreverently squandered. It's not an easy thing to understand you have thwarted God's will. I wept for my transgression, for that which I could not undo.

So, I had a reversal to at least place the option of biological children back in God's court. Still, our hearts ached for another child as the months rolled by and the clock ticked. (I have this thought in the back of my head, in God's humorous way, we'll get pregnant shortly after we adopt a child and I'll be raising children until I've been a longstanding AARP member.)

My daughter has asked me to pray for a sister during bedtime prayers for at least a year now. My middle son loves, absolutely loves, babies and toddlers of all shapes and sizes.

It's probably an understatement to say there has been a lot of joyful expectation in our household these last few days! I told the kids we were looking at adoption on Monday (2 days ago), and their faces lit up! Questions, questions.... On Tuesday (yesterday) they named her and started a collection jar. We've got $3.40 already - this is going to be easy! :) Today, middle son (8) was creating a flyer and planning a lemonade stand. Our oldest son (almost 12) was planning weekend trips back from college (he says he'll attend in NC so he'll be close enough to return) so he can visit his baby sister.

I have been touched by your responses and support thus far. We covet your prayers and enjoy this walk with you. Again, I am almost overwhelmed by the Lord's love, and how that love can flow through us. To have the opportunity to give that love to one of his dear little ones, and to reap that love back tenfold, is a gift to be cherished.

Please pray for His will to be done, and not our own. For we know how our own will can turn out.


Kerry said...

Awww - hubby! (He didn't tell me he was posting to this blog - stinker!)

You've described the past few days to at "T". He's much better at that than I am.